13 Comments
User's avatar
Ariana Hendrix's avatar

Yes yes yes! I also posted a similar not about this, along the lines of “what is the point of arguing about breast vs bottle in a country with no mandated paid parental leave?” And also yes to policies that give mothers choice and to side eyes at birthday parties 😆 because we all have the basic structural support that allows people the freedom of real choice.

Mohan's avatar

“Children who were breastfed had mothers…” - I think you may have cited the wrong study for this one. Please could you check your citation?

The Gender Nerd's avatar

You're right, thanks for noticing! I relinked to the right study.

Elissa Strauss's avatar

Amen!!! I think the early years are just so fraught that it’s hard not to get defensive and territorial.

Nancy Reddy's avatar

I'd also say, less charitably, about the voices in this conversation who are now parents of older kids and should have a little more perspective--there's a certain amount of profit in staking yourself out on one side or the other of a hot-button issue like this.

The Gender Nerd's avatar

Thank you! Your work is obviously so important and relevant in this space. And I agree that the incentive structure of social media is terrible for nuanced argument about these topics…

Nancy Reddy's avatar

This is a good reminder for me that when I start to get this irritable about what we're all doing here, it's time for me to log off! I'm headed downstairs to make some cookies and shake off my grumps! ;)

The Gender Nerd's avatar

Good choice 😊

The Gender Nerd's avatar

In terms of attention?

Nancy Reddy's avatar

Yeah, that's my slightly-cynical read on some of the current conversation. in the attention economy, having a Big Take on a hot-button issue is great for building your brand. Doing the kind of work you're doing (and that I'm very invested in), which carefully weighs the evidence and assumes that things are complicated and everyone else is also making their own nuanced calculations doesn't always grab eyeballs with so much immediacy.

(But hi! I read your article with a ton of interest, and I know Elissa and Darby, and then I just kind of tossed myself into the conversation. I admire what you're doing here!)

The Gender Nerd's avatar

So true! And hard to moderate when you’re so sleep deprived

Darby Saxbe's avatar

Yes! Exactly! I literally just posted a Note making a similar point. This debate can get so silly.

The Gender Nerd's avatar

And so emotional!